dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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