Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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