When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Found your dick twin last night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
