I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
