Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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