he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
