It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
