my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
