I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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