So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
