No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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