My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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