He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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