marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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