We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
