Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
