got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
