Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
