Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Me too!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
