it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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