Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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