so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
