so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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