come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
