ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
