i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
