Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
