I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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