I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
