Only a mothe r could love this liver
I love having hate sex.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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