i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Pants are for mortals
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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