You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
