Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
