when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Plan B is the new Plan A
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
