I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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