no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
