4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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