The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
