The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
