Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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