I feel like abortions should bother me more
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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