Porn is love you can see.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
