saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
