How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
