Define "chronic" masturbator.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
