i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
