I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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