brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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