Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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