he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm getting married
To pizza
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
